A Memoir of a Girl’s Crush, a Teacher’s Grooming, a Forbidden Love and the Journey to Reclaim My Voice

Mary Beth Runnoe was only eleven when she met Mr. Davis—the charming and worshipful young choir teacher who would hold her in thrall for decades.

In prose as resolute as it is haunting, Runnoe explores what it felt like to be groomed by an older man as the focus of Davis’ inappropriate, yet strongly appealing, attentions and favor. As she was drawn deeper and deeper into his web, her life turned upside down. She became the keeper of his secrets and his closest confidante, carried along amidst the exhilarating expectation that she was somehow more than just a child with a crush on a teacher, and that God himself looked with favor upon their relationship.

Today, Runnoe is about the same age as was Mr. Davis when their compelling and inappropriate relationship began. She finds herself looking back on Mr. Davis’ influence over the very course of her life—the notes and letters he wrote, the gestures he made, the memories long-buried, the traps she was unable to avoid—to reflect upon the meaning of innocence and faith, and to come to terms with the experience of this older man’s attentions and its effect on her development as a woman and an adult.

Thinking of You is a story about grooming, the delicacy of power, and the effects of its influence on the powerless. It is a story about reclaiming, repainting, and retelling. And, though it is specifically Runnoe’s story, she knows her life experience has not been unique. By sharing her journey, she hopes to help others find their voices and their peace as well.